Wednesday, March 23, 2011

Since Pre-Orders for the Grindhouse Edition and Vornheim Start April 1...

... anyone know of a good RPG VIP I can have an internet pillow fight with on March 31?

...

...

What?

What are you looking at me like that for?

It was an excellent traffic driver last time, darn it.

Hmmm...

*brainstorming for controversy*

"My game's dad can beat up you game's dad!"

"The Grindhouse Edition was an inside job!"

"Jenny McCarthy says LotFP causes autism!"

"The Grindhouse Edition did not have sex with that woman."

"My game's cock is bigger than your game's cock!"

"I hate remakes. Grindhouse Edition changed too much. It's raping my childhood. Everyone knows LotFP really shot first!"

"The OSR is better than the TSA!"

"This loose confederation of independent operators is better than a company that's been out of business for many years!"

"The Grindhouse Edition has WMDs!"

"LotFP should not be extradited back to the US; that was a long time ago and all the involved parties just want to move on with their lives."

"The Grindhouse Edition is against health care legislation!"

"The Grindhouse Edition, while horrible, has been exaggerated over the years."

"LotFP is Less Filling."

"The US Civil War was not about the Grindhouse Edition!"

"LotFP is justified in releasing all these documents because it's in the public interest."

"Why can't LotFP just show its birth certificate and put an end to all the speculation then?"

"Richard Dawkins says there is no LotFP, and he would know."

"LotFP is qualified for the job because it can see Russia from here."

"Victoria Jackson is disgusted at how the Grindhouse Edition shoves the LotFP agenda in everyone's faces."

"The Grindhouse Edition is a Jewish conspiracy!"

"LotFP wonders why they can't just all go back where they came from."

"Read my lips: No New Edition!"

"Lee Harvey Oswald acted alone in shooting LotFP."

...

Crap. I got nuthin'. It's going to have to work on merit this time, isn't it?

17 comments:

  1. You forgot that the Grindhouse Edition promotes socialism. Nothing gets American panties in a twist like tossing around the S-word.

    ReplyDelete
  2. Well the cover art was paid for by taxpayer euros.

    ReplyDelete
  3. "LotFP didn't write the Grindhouse Edition; Sir Francis Bacon wrote it."

    ReplyDelete
  4. "LotFP Grindhouse Edition has driven Grognardia to endorse 4e"

    "Grindhouse Edition has conversion rules for Rifts"

    "Grindhouse Edition comes with LARP rules to try and grab the V:tM fanbase"

    ReplyDelete
  5. "Grindhouse edition is yet another example of OSR thuggery!"

    "If elected, Jim Raggi promised to withdraw from Grindhouse edition at first priority"

    "Why did LotFP announce release of Grindhouse edition right after selling out LotFP classic? A coincidence, I think not!"

    ReplyDelete
  6. "Hot Elf Babe takes it Grindhouse Edition Style"

    ReplyDelete
  7. "Crime and immorality have been on the rise since the activist courts took LotFP out of the public schools!"

    "Grindhouse edition teaches children that we come up from monkeys!"

    ReplyDelete
  8. "Grindhouse Edition was actually written by Kevin Siembieda."

    ReplyDelete
  9. "The OSR is still better than TSR and has improved in the meantime..."

    "LOTFP: faster and cheaper shipping than any North American RPG publisher"

    ReplyDelete
  10. The Grindhouse Edition read backwards contains secret government death lists.

    ReplyDelete
  11. "Vornheim contains 4e conversion charts"

    Wait, that's actually true...

    ReplyDelete
  12. LOTFP shot the sheriff and the deputy.

    ReplyDelete
  13. What about:

    "Gender equality finds a home in the whacky world of the LotFP RPG where women are taken seriously. Watch them wield weapons!"

    ReplyDelete
  14. @Kent

    It's spelled "wacky", illiterate.

    Also, I had sex with your mother.

    ReplyDelete
  15. Victoria Jackson? Haven't heard that name in a LONG time.

    "Grindhouse Edition. It's what REALLY drove the grasshoppers out of Finland."

    ReplyDelete
  16. "Grindhouse Edition will swallow your soul!"

    ReplyDelete
  17. Dear Aplus the grasshopper thing with Saint Urho, you know it's f...

    Uh.. actually never mind, it seems perfectly good excuse to drink if you need one.

    ReplyDelete