Monday, August 16, 2010

To the Royal Commission of Colonial Affairs:

I fear I bring grave news. it displeases me most greatly to report that The Royal Blade of Arms, Great General Mortimer Coleridge and Imperial Archmage Shelton Farrington's expedition to discover the El Corazon de Oro in the jungles may have met with disaster.

We discovered another of these primitives, but one more savage and bestial than any encountered thus far. Our guide says he was from the deep interior of the jungle. He was spying on us, climbing through the trees like a monkey, until one of our expert men crippled him with a fine crossbow shot.

The brute was wearing one of the Great General's monogrammed kerchiefs as a loincloth! He also had a strange pendant made of some substance we have not been able to identify, but it terrified our guide. We interrogated our prisoner, but the thing could not speak a word of Common. My word, even goblins learn a proper civilized tongue! What manner of beasts are these that live in these parts?

Have you any freelance adventuring fools on retainer at the moment? Our garrison is busy enough controlling the domesticated natives and providing for the security of the settlers. I fear we may need aid in discovering the fate of Coleridge and Farrington.

Your Loyal Servant,

Alphonso Guttierez
Captain, Fort Coronado

PS. Father Ortiz bade me mention to you the only intelligible thing we could identify from the prisoner's gibberish. It was a phrase, or a chant, that he kept repeating. Does this mean anything to you?


(art by Amos Orion Sterns, DFD logo by Matt Johnsen)


  1. Ughnnnn, totally gnarly. The logo is the shit.

  2. Did I goof up a translation? "Golden Heart" or "Heart of Gold," right?

  3. That seems right to me, but my Spanish is less than perfect.

  4. I wanna play this! When?

  5. The heart of gold?

  6. I am quivering with cannibalistic excitement for this one!

  7. I'm impressed; I like this a lot.

    "El Corazón de Oro" is perfectly right. It either means "Golden Heart" or "Heart of Gold", and I'd translate it as the last one. While we're at it, you don't need to say "the El Corazón", since you are adding the article in both english and spanish.

    Also, "Alphonso Guttierez" is "Alfonso Gutierrez" in correct spanish. Of course, if your intention is, instead, using some fantasy alternate version of spanish, forget what I just said.

    Any more help on spanish, just ask. ;)

  8. Yeah, I need to watch some of that stuff.

    Coleridge and Farrington might say "The El Corazón" but Gutierrez shouldn't.

    And technically these guys should probably be Portuguese instead of Spanish, but I don't even have the slightest concept of the Portuguese in those times so Conquistadors in the Amazon it is. :D

  9. Nah. Better this way. We spaniards make better villains of that era than portuguese. :)

  10. The drawing of the savage by Amos Orion Sterns is freaking awesome. What a tormented, inhuman brute!

  11. "Have you any freelance adventuring fools on retainer at the moment?"

    THIS. I love it. Puts you right in your place doesn't it, fellow PCs?

  12. I pity the fool! er, fools!

    K, when is this being released? I'll be grabbing it the moment it hits PDF, 'cause I am am impatient bastard ;)

  13. You, sir, are a genius! Combining old school rpgs with a "Cannibal Holocaust/Cannibal Ferox" twist! Amazing! Can't wait until it comes out!

  14. If you want some help with Portuguese you can count on me. I´m from Brazil and also have a degree in History. The indians in my region were exterminated in a conflict that lasted 40 years called "Guerra dos Bárbaros"(Barbarian Wars) by the Portuguese settlers (1680-1720). This war was the biggest conflict between indians and colonists in the Brazil´s "Colonial History". I agree with Señor Rebollar, the spaniards can make better villans. But if you mix both? Something like a dark fantasy "Iberian Empire"?

    Sorry if my english is broken. It´s hard for me to write more than "the book is on the table". :).

  15. Cool, Aguirre: The Wrath of God came to my mind. Madness, fear, ambushes and henchies playing jaunty tunes with zampoñas.