Wednesday, June 2, 2010

I Am the Human Stress Machine

Some days, things go swimmingly. I feel like I have momentum and come July 23 I will debut a new game which will turn heads and maybe even generate a few pennies. Some days I even daydream that all my Ropecon efforts (the presentation might be on, by the way) will start Finland on the way to becoming an OSR powerhouse territory.

Other days I look at everything I've done and everything I've still do to and I wonder if I'm not just completely wasting my time and I fear I'm about to throw five figures right down the toilet.

Enough is done that this isn't just a cool idea anymore. It's a real, imminent thing. My investor money is going to be put in my bank account next week as I submit some of the smaller components for print. It's go time.

Yet there is still so much to do. The Referee book needs revising and reorganizing and in some parts rewriting; that's the big thing. Still need more sessions playing Weird New World and that manuscript needs to actually get done. I still need to fill back in the "flavor" areas for Hammers of the God. None of these books are laid out, although I've got a lot of the covers done. I'm dealing with almost half a dozen people for various graphic elements - and not dealing with some not very closely at all.

I can do any of these things without much of a problem. That they all need to be done, and the sooner the better, creates problems. I have trouble deciding and sticking to priorities, especially when that next email hits concerning something that needs addressing and I make a decision to drop everything I'm doing and go straight to that, or "get to it later" and then I realize I haven't answered it in almost a week.

I have pretensions of being a Professional Publisher, but what I am is a writer who insists on complete creative control . When people ask me what I do, I say "Writer," not "Publisher."

But I care about it. Every bit of it. I'm writing notes to someone about what an inner corner flap of the frickin' box should look like, for crying out loud.

And when this gaming thing isn't working out anymore, be it this fall or in a few years and I'm back working some shit job that I don't care about while trying to avoid getting in trouble with some dumb shit boss that doesn't even care about whatever the issue is, I'm going to remember these days and know how amazing it was that I even got the chance to do this.

Stress relief done. Whining over. Time to hit the next item on the checklist. Today's going to be one of those good days.


  1. I love your enthusiasm, man! I wish you success and all the best!

  2. I look forward to the results my oldest friend... and your insight into yourself is refreshing.

    You have a long history of untold effort put into what are admittedly, niche interests. And, you should be applauded for bringing immense talent to as far as the mainstream is concerned, the obscure.

    I hope this time, you even peek into the mainstream with it and it resonates...

  3. Just remember to breath and move one step at a time. Something are beyond your control and will remain so unless you micro manage evrything.

  4. I hope the effort pays.

    Weird Fantasy Role-Playing seems like a "killer application" amongst other old-school game projects.