The big presentation tonight was a disaster.
For the presentation in Tracon I made no preparation and talked off the cuff and was told I was entertaining.
Tonight I made outlines and was aware of the camera and was trying to be upbeat and positive and a representative of all the good things about what we do. I also kept to a one hour OSR/one hour LotFP format.
Awful. I'm not meant to be an informative straight man - I'm a ranter at heart and I have to be let loose. It felt unnatural when I was doing the "history of D&D and the OSR" like a boring history teacher and just downright wrong when trying to not bring controversy, or worse yet diffuse it, in the talk. I mentally blanked a few times and was just goddamn fucking awful. It was painful to be up there and probably painful to witness. And I stretched it to an hour.
The second hour was the opposite. I was talking about my stuff, the history and reasoning and behind-the-scenes fun bits of my projects and why I've conducted business the way I do, it felt good, the audience seemed engaged, laughed when they were supposed to, didn't laugh when they weren't supposed to (so I could do my fake "I can't hear you!" type schtick), and then time ran out just when I was getting to the part about the guts of the actual game.
If I was going to be "Mr. OSR Representative" I should have run down the basics in the first fifteen minutes and then taken an hour and a half to talk up my game in my natural style. I wouldn't have been awful in the first bit and would have had enough time in the second.
What's weird is I am better at running games if I'm well prepared and my improvisation skills aren't so great when I don't have a solid base to riff off of. The exact opposite of my public speaking.
Ah well. I hope that video is never seen by anyone.