Wednesday, May 19, 2010

Someone Stat These Post-Apocalyptic Nightmares

You know, I lived in Atlanta when the 96 Olympics rolled through and I had to see my city represented by "Izzy." But what the hell, London? What the hell is this shit?


  1. I just saw these things on TV, with a bunch of kids adopting The Pose. I really think they might want to rethink that; it looked exactly like they were all giving the Nazi salute.

  2. LOL!

    The one on the right looks like it p*ssed its pants and the other one's backing off, pronto!

  3. Which system do you want them to have stats for?

  4. They act in tandem. To achieve binocularity.

  5. I think you are supposed to use mutant future to describe these guys :)

  6. Deputy PM Nick Clegg (l, orange logo), PM David Cameron (r, light blue logo). ;)

  7. Far-too-colorful Post-apocalyptic Nightmare
    No. Encountered: 1d6(1d6)
    Alignment: Chaotic
    Movement: 90(30)
    Armor Class: 8
    Hit Dice: 3
    Attacks: 1
    Damage: 1d4
    Save: L4
    Morale: 11
    Hoard Class: XX

    These strange bipedal humanoids have been seen mostly around radioactive areas. Nobody really comprehends what they intend to accomplish. They generally attack with kung-fu like maneuvers, but 30% also have a secondary eye mutation allowing them to have the Optic Emissions mutation.

    There, hope that helps.

  8. I'll give it a try

    Wenlock and Mandeville

    Demonic Patronizing Rubbish

    MV 120
    HD 2 dice
    Damage 1d4 rubbery fist
    HP 10
    AC 7 (rubbery hide)

    Special Abilities
    Charm Stupid Authority Figures (with combined INT and Wis of 20 or less) as Charm Person. At Will as a free action

    Nauseating Gaze . Everyone not charmed in eye sight must save vs poison at -4 or be sickened and lose initiative.

    Dispelling Salute. 3 per day dispel magic. Will cause rage in anyone victimized by a certain regime.

    Teleport: At Will 120 foot range

  9. Ick...looks like a sing along to a song called Teletubbies uber alles...

  10. They sorta look like wanna-be-hip vibrators.

    My God, have the Brits really fallen this low?

  11. I think in Gamma World they would probably be called something like "Eyezorrs"

  12. Tenkar, the chief draw of the Olympics nowadays is not the sport, but all the cack-handed stuff that goes on behind the scenes. If you think the mascots are bad, wait until 2012, when athletes from all around the world come to London to compete, only to find that the stadium/swimming pool/Olympic village isn't finished yet.

    Still, no bribery yet, so we haven't fallen that low. ;)

  13. At least they draw attention away from the "Lisa Simpson Giving Head" London Olympics logo.

  14. Living Ps-eye-chosis
    No. Enc.: 1d4+1 (1d4+1)
    Alignment: Chaotic (evil)
    Movement: 90'(30')
    Armor Class: 0(8)
    Hit Dice: 9
    Attacks: none (see below)
    Damage: (see below)
    Save: F10
    Morale: 12
    Hoard Class: IX, XIX
    XP: ?

    Ps-eye-chotic Revenant-
    These creatures are unliving remnants of intense psychological stress, felt by formerly living beings immediately before they met an untimely end. They feed off the torment they extract from the living by inflicting upon their prey the same emotions that once wracked their living forbears. For example, the one on the left (from our view)is the echo of the fury felt by a barbarian who was betrayed by his wife to his greatest nemesis, and has a gaze attack that causes Rage as the Emotion spell. The one on the right is morose shadow of whiny goth kid who listened to Linkin Park once too often. It has a gaze attack that inflicts Despair as the same spell.

    Ps-eye-chotic Revenants always are found in groups of two or more, because misery loves company.