Wednesday, June 20, 2012

How to Raggify An Adventure

And now for something completely different...

I did a little fun thing over on Google + today, Jeff Rients won, so he gets his d12 chart.

12 ways to creep up some random moldy old module. i.e. roll on this chart to make any adventure more Raggian.
  1. Put a Deck of Many Things in the first encounter area.
  2. Randomly select an encounter area. Simply replace it with another randomly selected encounter area from a randomly selected other adventure in your collection.
  3. Reverse the hit point totals of everything in the adventure (12hp becomes 21, 40hp becomes 4, etc).
  4. Randomly select a page in the adventure and begin reading. The next mention of any sort of liquid in the adventure, change it to "semen."
  5. Select one monster in the adventure randomly and multiply its hit points by 10. You're not supposed to be able to defeat everything, you know.
  6. Replace all of the magic items in the adventure with cursed counterparts.
  7. Put so many goddamn warning signs and spooky buildup to the dungeon that the players actually get freaked out and consider just quitting instead of playing the damn game. "Gorfar the Barbarian will settle for a farming life after all if adventuring means going in places like *that*."
  8. Insert an old crotchety and harmless NPC into some room (maybe as a prisoner if it's a dungeon adventure) who has no purpose other than telling the PCs how much they suck at adventuring.
  9. Go to Metal-Archives.com. Hit "Random Band." The first song title of the first item of the discography is the new name of the most important enemy/monster/NPC in the adventure.
  10. The next halfling the PCs encounter in the adventure should be replaced with Elijah Wood's Kevin from Sin City.
  11. Turn on the TV right now. The first person you see on the screen? That person is the first NPC you present to the PCs.
  12. Everything that's supposed to be hostile in the adventure runs away from the party. When they get to the end of the dungeon, they find it's just been solved/looted by their higher-level future selves who have time traveled back to solve this adventure. They tell the PCs "Sorry about this, I remember when this happened and it really sucked, but nothing to be done about it. Cheerio!" and they disappear. All those enemies that ran away have returned to their posts, and this time they won't run.

20 comments:

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    1. I know I wouldn't want to meet something called Murder by Cock in the last room of a dungeon.

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    2. It's given me a lot to think about. Damage as spear, I suppose, but how many hit dice?

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    3. 9... "Alrigut Col" (1st track of an Misericordiam EP). Don't know what it means, but it suggests something weird and scary.

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    4. "Murder by Cock." would obviously mean that the big bad is Harry "The Hatchet" Lonsdale, who once beat a man to death with a 15 inch black dildo.

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    5. I would just have it be a giant rooster, but I guess that defeats the point of the exercise.

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  2. The metal archives random band link is pure gold.

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  3. For #9 I got 'Satan Cult'... yay!

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  4. #9
    'Puppet Regime' on Driven By Terror by Tipper Gore

    hm. Could use any of those.

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  5. You gotta use ALL from tjis list for full effect.

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  6. Hitting the metal archves got me Sacrifices to the Blood God, I think I can use that and the band Recursion look like stereotypical gamers.

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  7. Sweet! I got Leeches of Power from Sarcom's Silent Holocaust

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  8. You had me at "deck of many things"

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  9. I got Jerry Cantrell which really didn't help much until I tried again and got Errorgod previously known as Evil Pigs. Result!

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  10. Has it ever occurred to you that you're pathetic?

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    Replies
    1. Oh, look. A wussy little troll with a silly name and a hidden blogger profile.

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